This tends to be a more difficult question for me this week...although I find it a very good blog-challenge question for all families who are blessed with any type of child with a disability in their family...I do not typically have time to participate in "blog challenges", but found this one a MUST for me this week...
Who am I? I bet several people reading this would be able to answer this perfectly for me, as I tend to be extremely energetic and passionate about my life, my children, and my family...yet as I attempt to answer this question tonight, most of my answers would include my children and my family, mostly my children...so it might prove more difficult for me to answer, than I had originally thought. I watched a Dr. Phil episode tonight that reminded me so much of my family and what it has become since the birth of Tayvion...and the family struggled with two young boys born with the same rare congenital heart defect, which spun their family into crisis, not once, but twice...Rev. T.D. Jakes said that the family had learned to survive in constant crisis mode, living life in the fast lane, due to the constant medical needs of their two young children. And I had to relate almost 100%, as my family too, has learned to live in a constant state of crisis and chaos since Tayvie-doo was born. I rarely speak of this constant state, as I tend to sugar-coat things for others, tell them how well we're doing, and hope for the best...but this constant state of chaos and crisis can at times be draining, to say the least. And it is not that I do not want to talk about these things with others, but often find that others may never be able to relate, unless they too, had the gift of giving life to and raising a child with such special medical needs. And what has become oh, so normal for our family, would look nothing short of chaotic to others...so at times, I find it better not to discuss any of it all, since it is too difficult to explain...so, who am I??? Well, during the day, I am a School Psychologist for children with severe emotional disabilities...I am a friend to the teachers and staff I work with and a source of support and encouragement to the teachers and children I work with...I counsel children with emotional disturbances and assist in managing their behaviors in the classrooms...I am a tender and funny person, finding the best in each teacher and student that I come into contact with during the day...By mid-afternoon, I drive home with my "mommy" hat on, pick up my five year old from school and head home to our beloved Tayvie-doo...some days I am able to change my clothing into something more comfortable as I switch mental gears to mommy-mode, as therapists come in and out of our front door, in hopes of helping Tayvion develop at the best rate possible...of course, I am also the chef, the maid, and the soccer/wrestling/t-ball mom, making sure we all eat before heading off to practice...I am also superb at mixing formula for the Kangaroo pump for the car ride here, there and everywhere!!! Oh of course, I am the laundry lady, who makes sure school uniforms and work clothing are clean, folded and put away for everyone to find...I am the person who keeps our home in order, writes out the bills, and notes to Kindergarten teachers to see what field trips I might be able to attend to remain involved in my five year old's life as well...so, Who Am I??? I am who I have become a Graduate level professional, a mother, a wife, and a woman in need of some time to herself...but I am also grounded and realistic that this is what my life has become and I would not change an ounce of it for all of the money in the world...I get sweet hugs and kisses from both of my boys and husband, and the rewards far outweigh all of the sacrifices...Tayvion is now waving hello and bye-bye, thanks to all of the hard work, devotion, belief, and love we have given him...he giggles, laughs, and smiles, sometimes having a difficult time going to bed, because he loves to be with me so...so much that he hates leaving to go to sleep...who could ask for anything more? My five year old thinks I am "the most beautiful lady ever," and "doesn't care that I have rolls on my belly (ha, ha)..." and his friends tell him, "Tre' your mom is pretty!" and he thinks it's great!!!! We share secrets, kisses (of course when no one is looking), color together, and read tons of stories...sometimes the same ones over and over...I am who I have become and will be who I am meant to be as I grow, mature, and age...I would not change who I am for anything...I am hoping to be all I can be in the many more years all my boys' lives (husband included)...for as long as we have to be in love with each other!!!
You absolutely love your cousins and I am so happy that you are beginning to show an interest in others, particularly young babies who love to roll around our floors with you, pull down your pants as they chase after you, trying to use you to crawl, and pull out your hearing aides each chance they get!!! We were blessed by a visit from Uncle James, Aunt Chrissy and little Dylan last weekend and they spent the entire weekend with us, cutting wood for the winter, going to the pumpkin patch, and hanging out! You loved playing with your cousin Dylan, and loved that he would roll around with you, even though you loved using him mainly as a pillow for your head! I love the happy little bug you can be on the days when you are feeling your BEST! God bless you!
