First Professional Photos...

I am happy to say that we finally did it---we finally took you and your brother for your first professional photo session together!!! YAY! We are accomplishing BIG things this summer!!! Although I made the appointment for well before your scheduled nap routine (thanks to nurse Tracey), someone was training and we waited for almost an hour...you were miserable, not to mention that I believe the lighting in the room really irritated you, as your eyes watered non-stop and you kept them closed for much of the session. I am so proud to be the mommy of these two handsome, wonderful BOYS!!! Your brother kept telling the lady, "don't do that, he has a feeding button, he doesn't like to sit like we do, he will cry if you move him because he doesn't know you, and he likes to lay on his belly...do you have any pillows?" She sure did, thanks to Tre'von!!!

Daddy's boy

I guess that I haven't written much about your father, so I should add a ton about him, since he is also your primary caregiver in the evenings when he gets home from work...we share a lot of responsibilities taking care of you after Tracey has gone home and I give him props---he can take care of you like no other! You screech when you hear him come in the room and he screeches back at you and you laugh and smile...you know it's him and get so excited! I know that most days he is exhausted, since his work is very physical, but that NEVER stops him from getting down on the floor with you to play, feed you, or give you a bath...and the two of you have this "secret screeching lango..." I will never understand!

Brotherly LOVE...

You love your brother...that is one thing I am soooooo certain of...look at your face, look at how peaceful you seem, when he is near, touching you, holding, you and being with you...

I've added some older photos from last summer and your first winter, when you had your wild and crazy hair-do...when I look at these older photos, I can't help but remember how much your brother wanted a sibling---to play with, laugh with, and share a room with...and how much he has grown since becoming a big brother! He will being Kindergarten in a few weeks and asked me the other day if you could go with him. He is so gentle with you, but also so rough with you, which you love...he recently began doing some crazy Karate chop with you and you get laughing so hard that you "toot" and actually sometimes need your diaper changed!!! It's hysterical! He will be your hero for many days to come! He has grown into such a mature, strong little boy...he has had a monumental summer---taught himself how to ride his bike, without training wheels one week before he turned five, and basically taught himself how to swim the full length of our pool in almost a week...I can barely keep up with him in the pool any longer. He has your father's athletic ability and my brains...what a deadly combination!!!

Update on your eyes...

Today was a tough day for us. We re-visited the doctor that originally saw you when you were six months old, almost a year and a half ago, for the potential Ptosis surgery (droopy eyelids)...the good news is, he was so impressed with you and your physical growth...the bad news is, the odds for surgery are extremely stacked against you. He basically told us that there are easy cases, mild, moderate, severe, and COMPLEX...he told us that you are the MOST COMPLEX he has ever seen in his career...so, our choices are: 1) leave your eye lids droopy, and hope that you continue to grow and develop and get past the hurtles that the droopy eyelids present for you, or 2) go for the surgery and be left with a host of other problems including: you may never be able to close your eyes again, we will have to use eye drops several times per day due to you not being able to blink or close your eyes properly, infection from the surgery which could lead to removal of the eyeballs, etc...we are devastated tonight to say the least...why is everything so difficult for you? Why can't one thing just be easy and actually work? It is the same thing we heard when we went for your consult for your cleft palate repair at the beginning of summer...let's wait and see, let's wait, let's wait, let's wait...As a parent, we always want to "fix" boo-boos, make life the BEST for our children, but with you, it seems like we are fighting and fighting and fighting, and not making much progress, leaving us feeling so desperate and helpless...almost defeated. I wish so badly tonight that you could talk and tell us what you think we should do, what you would want for us to do for you...and you continue to smile at me, laugh with me, hum your songs, and play as if life is the best...and only you know these things as so many of us miss each and every day. Your Coats' Disease in your Right eye is not doing well either, leaving us even more devastated at the possibility for one more round of surgery to seal the leaks in the vessels behind the eyeball and see what happens...your retina is at high risk of detachment at any point now, so again we wait, wait and wait...we are using prayer and hope that something will turn out right for you...I have to admit though, despite your visual delays, you are so SMART! You are consistently signing "more," "all done," and sometimes even "stop." You have picked up on sign language quicker than I thought you would, although you can be a typical two year old at times and only use it when you want to and feel like using it!!! We love you so much, Tayvie-doo, and hope we are doing right for you...we worry that sometimes our best is just not enough...I can remember all too well, the day after you were born, a Developmental Specialist came to see you and told your father, "Do not waste time trying to "fix" the things that are wrong with him. Love him as he is and let his development take its course as it will." I remember how mad your father was and how hurt we both were at the thought of someone telling us that, the day after you were born...but tonight I wonder how much this extremely wise man knew, about your development and the tough battles we would have ahead of us...tonight I will try not to feel so defeated, but will try to feel blessed by having you in our lives to love, as you are...